Looking Back….Moving Forward

01 Jan 2011 2 Comments

by Aprel Phelps Downey in Inspiration, Life Tags: Dreams, life expectations, Life Goals, New Years, New Years Resolutions, Personal Accomplishment, Resolutions, success

Like many of you I have spent the last few days reflecting on what 2010 offered and anticipating what 2011 will bring. As with any other year, 2010 offered up its share of laughter, smiles, tears and heartache. There were dreams in my heart that were built about this time last year. I set personal and professional goals. Some of which came true and some which silently failed to make an appearance throughout the year. Steps were put into place in order to accomplish goals that I truly wanted to see achieved. Yet fear of failure, or success, stood in my way of seeing those goals come to life. All in all I would have to say that 2010 was a fairly good year.

On a professional level I slowly let my writing business fade into the background of my life. It was not entirely on purpose. Part of this fade-out can be attributed to my fear of success. See I do not deal with success well. I know that sounds crazy but a lack of self-esteem is to blame for this thought process. All of the cards to make my writing business a roaring success were laid out before me on the table. I got scared and started slacking off from letting that happen. It turns out that listening to that scared voice inside my head paid off to some extent. As my writing business was fading into the background, another career opportunity was presented to me. I was offered the opportunity to become a preschool teacher.

I accepted this challenge and have in turn been blessed more than I ever thought was possible from a ‘job’. Every day is a new challenge, as to be expected when your day is spent with three-year olds, and I am rising to the challenge with flying colors. Working with children has always been something I wanted to do in life. Only I always thought that those children had to come from an abusive child background in order for my work to be deemed rewarding. That comes from my own abusive child background experience. It turns out that my teaching experience has been just as rewarding and I am learning as much from those precious little three-year olds as they are learning from me.

On a personal level I have been granted the honor of watching my daughter grow up right before my eyes. She turned five this year and is quickly turning into a beautiful little girl with a love of reading, dancing, school and her friends. The excitement she felt when putting on her first pair of tap shoes can not possibly be explained in words. Yet the smile on her face at that moment those shoes slipped onto her feet is priceless. Those are the moments I treasure the most with that little girl. I wish that I had the ability to freeze time and let her be a little girl forever. Every parent wishes that I suppose as we all know that our children are growing up much too fast for our liking. Sometimes I take life too seriously, get too stressed out over the little things and she is always there to remind me to slow down, take a deep breath and just live in the moment.

I watched my husband turn a career he’s held for over 15 years into his own personal business. It was his shinning moment, his chance to show the world just how smart and talented he truly is, something I have known since the moment we met. It was a great opportunity and learning experience all rolled into one. The only drawback was the sacrifice he was making in spending time at home with my daughter and I. The business required him to spend a great deal of time traveling on the road, which left very little room for time together as a family. When an opportunity to come off the road presented itself, he took the offer even though it meant no longer being a business owner. It is a step in life that makes me admire, respect and love him for all that he gave up in order to see a family goal become a reality.

Now with the new year upon me there are all too familiar feelings creeping up on me. Anticipation over what will transpire as 2011 gets rolling is slowly getting into place. It’s good friend fear is making an appearance as I ponder making a childhood dream become a reality. At this moment I can tell you that fear will not stand in the way this time, not this year. I am going to make that dream come true even if doing so sends me into panic attacks and sweats in the process. Just writing that sentence and reading it in black and white makes me nervous. Yet I vow to persevere and see this cherished goal through to completion. All easier said than done I know. In moments of weakness or self-doubt I will remind myself of the following thought.

Turning a dream into a reality begins with you. Inside of you lies everything that is needed to make this happen. Your family, friends, coworkers, significant other, children, etc. can voice their opinion, both positively and negatively, towards you chasing that dream. Yet doing so is merely words being spoken or written. Do not let these words be the defining factor in whether or not your dream comes true. That is the beauty of starting a new year. All the hope, desire and motivation you need lies inside of you. Do not be standing here this time next year reflecting on how you let someone else derail your determination to make 2011 the best year it can possibly be for you!

Until next time ~ Cheers!!

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