The Greatest Man I Ever Knew
12 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Life Tags: family, grandpa's love, grief, love, love of a grandfather, saying goodbye
It was my freshman year of high school and I was getting ready for a swim meet that night. My papa had been in the hospital up in Buffalo, New York for a few weeks at the time. The phone rang. It was Uncle Mike. He wanted to talk to mom. She looked worried. ‘It’s okay’ I remember saying. ‘Uncle Mike sounds fine’. So I handed the phone to mom and went back to packing my swim team bag for the meet that night.
The events that happened next occurred in slow motion. I must have heard my mom’s reaction to the news on the other end of the phone. For the life of me I can’t recall what she said to make me realize my worst fear. All I remember is sinking to the ground, curling my knees up to my chest and having the world around me fall silent. I could not think. I could not feel. My heart collapsed….my papa had passed away!
Somehow I managed to pull myself up off that floor. I made it to the swim meet that night but everything happened in a blur. One of my best friends met me on the sidewalk outside the pool that night. She had heard from another friend of ours what had happened. With tears in her eyes she hugged me tight. The hug felt good but I was numb inside. I went through the motions of the swim meet that night and as I swam the backstroke event, my eyes were fixated on the night-time sky. My mind was not on the race that I was in the middle of. Instead it was on my papa who was now a new resident of heaven. In an instant it felt as if I was going to sink to the bottom of that pool. I wanted to do whatever it took to get my papa back from heaven. ‘It’s not time’ I remember thinking. ‘How can my life go on without him’…’Who will I talk to’…’Who will protect me now’ were other thoughts I had.
This life changing event took place 22 years ago today. My family has changed a million times over since then. Just a few short years ago my nana went to be with papa in heaven. The anniversary of her death is this week as well. There have been trying moments in my family through the years. New cousins have come into my family that never had the chance to know their papa. They hear stories about him from the rest of us, but it is not the same. Weddings, graduations and other happy life moments have taken place. Each without his presence. Each with a thought of his angel watching from heaven above. The thought of him watching us from heaven brings comfort. It also brings heartache as we wish he could still be here to share life’s moments with us. In the end, people change and life has moved on.
Except for me. I have never really moved on from October 12, 1988 when papa went to heaven. There is a pain in my chest a mile wide as I write this tonight. I have smiled through my tears. Found comfort in the happy moments with papa. Yet the heartache remains. Some days it hurts to breathe. Some days I still hear his voice or see him off in the distance. I will pass an older man on the sidewalk of a restaurant and for a split second it is my papa. In only a few seconds I realize that it is not him. He is gone. Forever an angel in heaven now. So I move on with a heavy heart.
My papa was the type of man who would give you the shirt off his back if he thought it would help you out. He never had a harsh word to say about anyone. No matter what life threw in his direction, he always met the challenge with a smile. During the summer he would drive the family boat around the lake countless times pulling my aunt, uncles and their friends skiing without complaining once. As the sun went down he would holler for the family to come take one last boat ride of the day before parking the boat for the night. Bar-b-ques were his specialty. He could often be found wearing his favorite hat and cooking up some delicious ribs on the grill. To this day we have yet to figure out what his sauce recipe was. That went to the grave with him!
One of my fondest memories with papa was a night when I was staying with him and nana. Nana was playing bingo in town and papa took me across the street to get some ice cream. We sat on the front porch swing watching the world pass by and enjoying the ice cream. Later on that night we went to pick Nana up from bingo. She suggested we go get some ice cream. I though there was no way he was going to say ‘ok’ because we had just had ice cream. Papa turned around, gave me a wink and a smile and said ‘sure’. What a great night that was!
In the Spring before he passed away, him and nana came to visit my family in Florida. Papa and I went for a drive one night and I showed him where I had gone to elementary school, middle school and where I would be starting high school in the fall. We talked about boys, my wanting to be on swim team and a million other tiny little things that I can not remember now. He bought me ice cream and then we watched a slow pitch softball game together. It was one of his favorite things to do. I did not want the night to end!
There are a million and one more memories of my papa like the ones I’ve shared here. I’d be willing to bet each family member can come up with a million memories of their own. There was so much to love about papa! I miss him so much. Not just today, the anniversary of his death but every day! I know that he is with me always, watching over from heaven. Yet I still find myself wanting to see his face, hear his voice or feel his arms wrap me up in a big bear hug.
It has been 22 years now and memories are all that I have left of papa. So today I take an extra moment to remember my papa – John R. Bryant – the greatest man I ever knew! I am a better person because of the love he had for me and the love I feel for him. May you rest in peace dear papa ~ You are loved more and more each passing day!
Until next time ~ Cheers!
